how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
As shirtless as possible
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
