respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
