He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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