Define "chronic" masturbator.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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