I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
