She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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