tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Randomize
