I want to stick my p in your. b.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize