did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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