I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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