hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
ugly people sure do ruin things
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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