Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
