Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
