Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
