its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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