there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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