Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
