Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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