no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
