Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
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