we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
