4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
