How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
