Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
