just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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