Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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