I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize