I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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