I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
