he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize