Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
