I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize