Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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