I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Randomize
