Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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