Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
