Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
