dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
she smelled like a LAN party
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
