HIV tests are more positive than that guy
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
