i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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