In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
