Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize