So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize