We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
