I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
