Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
