Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
You ruined the universe
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize