Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
