please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
