talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
