no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
