BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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