Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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