Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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