Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize