he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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