Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
