At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
