Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize