Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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