I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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