When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Thank you for not boning my boss.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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