I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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