so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
