we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
