I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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