I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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