That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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